While a wealth of technical expertise resides in the Site FAQ's and site forums, there are unrecognized gems of enlightened knowledge, keen insight, and unique perspective in forum posts. Several of these gems have been culled from postings of previous years, and are presented here as a public service. . . . . . .

"Why do I need to see my house via satellite, when I can just step outside and there it is?"

"Oh man, did I sleep through National Methamphetamine Week again?"

"Fortunately, this house burned down in '77 and the wiring was upgraded then."

"Im going to disable my NAT when i get home and if that does the trick then im in. if not i will set my house on fire."

"If it hasn't been for DSLR, my grammar and English would of been terrible."

"im drunk and i just made a good post... if i can do it you can too."

"I guess the message is if you are stuck outside in a lightning storm, then smoke crack."

"My cat dancing on my keyboard while in microsoft frontpage could make a better website than that."

"Said about poison ivy: 'We used to eat it, thinking we would build an immunity to it. We weren't the brightest campfire in the woods.'"

"One out of every million piles of horse shit will resemble a human face. That doesn't make one out of every million piles of horse shit a miracle. It's nothing more than probability. Give a room of monkeys typewriters and enough time, and eventually they'll give you a work of Shakespeare."

"Oh. I knew it was in violation of federal laws, but I did not know it was illegal. Never mind then."

"I found out it isn't a good idea to empty a semi 12 guage with #4 shot into a wasps nest as big as a medicine ball."

"It's the finest picture I've ever seen of a woman with her hair on fire and breadsticks in her eyes."

"speak for yourself. I hate them, I have to think now which to press. The shapes are offensive. I have a good mine to ask for my premium $10 back. I want an option to replace them with the old ones, on alternate tuesdays, or when hawaii doesn't have daylight savings time and the USA does. That isn't much to ask. Isn't this site all about the regulars? Another change like this and I'm leaving."

"You cannot prove a giant black transvestite didn't create the universe therefor it must be taught in a science class?"

"Tis a sad time we live in when art teachers get busted for kiddy porn instead of drug possession"

"If you press and hold the left mouse button on it for 10 full seconds, you reset the internet to its default values."

"This doesn't help you in the least, but I hate the fucking Post Office."

"Well we just got to the hospital and in the morning my wife will be giving birth to our newest addition to the household! As an added bonus they have free wifi!!! lol"

"And 'To Serve Man' isn't a plan for philanthropy, it's an alien cookbook."

"I have noticed that every time i blink it gets dark?"

"to the person who asked about putting bengay on your penis a few weeks ago.. my god dude, if you want to keep your manhood dont do it. dont ever do it. ever. god help you if you do."

"A frog can be cooked to death without even noticing it if you just raise the temperature of the water slowly enough. People can lose all sense of how much their privacy and rights to privacy are being violated too, if you just make the steps small enough, slow enough, and keep telling them over and over again that this invasion of their personal space is for their own advantage. It's scary what people are willing to put up with, and actually embrace as a good thing..."

"I'm going over to live in Europe and I want to take a sheet of acid over with me. I'm too scared to take it on the plane, so I was thinking of faxing it over before hand. Can anyone tell me if this will work?"

"The only explanation that I can come up with is that he's clairvoyant and decided to answer your question before you asked. Using a "jedi mind trick" he fooled you into replying to the answer."

"I hear a voice behind me say: 'Hey, don't you know that will stunt your growth?' I turn around, thinking of something witty to say and I see...... a midget smoking a cigarette. I sh*t you not!"