 
OSUGoose
join:2007-12-27
Columbus, OH
clubs: | What! But Mr Tech Support in India told me to reset my modem, so i kept baning it to reset it. | |
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Austinloop
join:2001-08-19
Austin, TX | nuclear impact Given my knowledge of "nuclear impacts", it definitely will not work immediately after said impact, nor is it likely to work at anytime after impact. Can anyone say EMP (Electro magnetic pulse)? | |
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celeritypc
For Lucky Best Wash, Use Mr. Sparkle
Premium
join:2004-05-15
Caldwell, NJ
| Re: nuclear impact said by Austinloop  :Given my knowledge of "nuclear impacts", it definitely will not work immediately after said impact, nor is it likely to work at anytime after impact. Can anyone say EMP (Electro magnetic pulse)? Hmmm, I think if you are near the site of a nuclear impact, EMP is the least of your problems. | |
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OSUGoose
join:2007-12-27
Columbus, OH
clubs: | Re: nuclear impact Hey Mom...
Why ami glowing green. | |
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R4M0N
Brazilian Soccer Ownz Joo
join:2000-10-04
Glen Allen, VA
1 edit | Re: nuclear impact Shut up and eat your food!  | |
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Jason Levine
Premium
join:2001-07-13
USA | Re: nuclear impact Which of my five mouths on my three heads should I use to eat my food? (mmmmm.... Three-Eyed Fish! My favorite!) | |
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blueeyesm
join:2003-09-05
Waterloo, ON | Because your pa thought we would be better off outside Vault 13! | |
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R4M0N
Brazilian Soccer Ownz Joo
join:2000-10-04
Glen Allen, VA | Re: nuclear impact Whoever doesn't get the reference, is not a gamer. | |
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Dennis
Premium,Mod
join:2001-01-26
Algonquin, IL | Am I the only one who thinks this is funny? Personaly I think it shows a sense of humor...I've slipped little bits of whimsy into documents over the years, if only to see whether or not people read them. | |
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| jester121
join:2003-08-09
Lake Zurich, IL | Re: Am I the only one who thinks this is funny? I love stuff like that too, except that in AT&T's case this make work its way into knowledgebase used by tech support, and eventually into their troubleshooting script. | |
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battleop
join:2005-09-28
00000
| I thought it was funny. I've done little things like this for years. What is sad is that sites like DSLR and The Consumerist pick this stuff up and blow it out of proportion because that energy was not spent on doubling connection speeds or cutting the price in half. In the end they will remove the content and probably fire the guy who did it so it looks like they did something important. | |
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Tarheels Fan
Premium
join:2006-01-05 | Re: Am I the only one who thinks this is funny? Looks like your right about removing the content  | |
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ninjatutle
Premium
join:2006-01-02
San Ramon, CA | The author must be a fan of woot.com | |
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dadkins
Can you do Blu?
Premium,MVM
join:2003-09-26
Hercules, CA | DUH ROFL!!!!
Modem is smoking... Ya Think?
Melted and Misshapen... naw.
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Think outside the Fox... Opera | |
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wenter99
Alpha Male
Premium
join:2003-12-09
Albuquerque, NM | Re: DUH I guess they have to include those scenarios. Judging from some of the questions I see coming through the forums here, there are those out there who are truly clueless... | |
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| | dentman42
join:2001-10-02
Columbus, OH
 ·AT&T Midwest
| Re: DUH said by wenter99 :I guess they have to include those scenarios. Judging from some of the questions I see coming through the forums here, there are those out there who are truly clueless... We had a user today that couldn't figure out why they couldn't type an "!" - after all, their Caps Lock was on, so they should have gotten "!" instead of "1"... | |
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Dogfather
Premium
join:2007-12-26
Laguna Hills, CA | Gotta remember who the $15 DSL plans are getting Former AOHell subs. | |
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| jester121
join:2003-08-09
Lake Zurich, IL | Re: I'm curious... Depends on with what caliber (smashed to bits), and how recently (see smoking exemption above). | |
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R4M0N
Brazilian Soccer Ownz Joo
join:2000-10-04
Glen Allen, VA | The funniest one is... Modem lights indicate hardware failure.
I mean... Really? A light indicating hardware failure may suggest a defective modem?  | |
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fireflier
Coffee. . .Need Coffee
Premium
join:2001-05-25
Limbo
 ·Skype
| Re: The funniest one is... So if I bash the modem until the hardware failure light goes out, does that mean my modem hardware is no longer failed?
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Tradition: Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid. --despair.com | |
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Jason Levine
Premium
join:2001-07-13
USA
| Computer Stupidities That reminds me of this Oldie-But-Goodie website:
Computer Stupidities
»www.rinkworks.com/stupid/
said by »www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_smoke.shtml :Customer: "There are smoke and flames coming from my computer." Tech Support: "Uh, hang up, unplug the computer from the wall, and call the local fire department." Customer: "That's not the problem. I need to know how to do a backup. Fastest possible method."
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-Jason Levine
Support a children's charity. Buy a calendar and/or a photo book. Shooting For A Cause | |
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| dentman42
join:2001-10-02
Columbus, OH
·AT&T Midwest
| Re: Computer Stupidities said by Jason Levine :That reminds me of this Oldie-But-Goodie website: Computer Stupidities » www.rinkworks.com/stupid/said by »www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_smoke.shtml :Customer: "There are smoke and flames coming from my computer." Tech Support: "Uh, hang up, unplug the computer from the wall, and call the local fire department." Customer: "That's not the problem. I need to know how to do a backup. Fastest possible method." Simon would've showed them how to backup to the Non Unwinding Linear Loop device...
(or maybe walked them through doing a "hot swap") | |
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fireflier
Coffee. . .Need Coffee
Premium
join:2001-05-25
Limbo
·Skype
| Other Tips. I've also heard that submersion in nitric acid is also a discouraged cleaning procedure for most modems--especially when they're still powered on. . .
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Tradition: Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid. --despair.com | |
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Chuckles
Premium
join:2006-03-04
Saint Paul, MN | Why it's necessary. It's sad people have to be told this. Too bad people don't have the sense to know it themselves. Someone probably complained that those symptons weren't on the website and said they were going to the attorney general. | |
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Vchat20
Landing is the REAL challenge
join:2003-09-16
Warren, OH
clubs:
| Re: Why it's necessary. Agreed. It's probably the exact reason they put it up too. Sadly, we have those types on this planet where the absolute obvious escapes them and they need catered to not to mention have their diaper changed every other hour.
»www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3qFdbUEq5s
Need I say more?
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I swear, some people should have pace-makers installed to free up the resources. Breathing and heart beat taxes their whole system, all of their brain cells wasted on life support.-two bit brains, and the second bit is wasted on parity! ~head_spaz | |
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| | NormanS
Premium,MVM
join:2001-02-14
San Jose, CA
·Pacific Bell - SBC
| Re: Why it's necessary. <hyperbole>
The lady commenting is obviously aware of a very serious problem afflicting our industrialized world: dihydrogen monoxide!
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Norman
~Oh Lord, why have you come
~To Konnyu, with the Lion and the Drum | |
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| | | patcat88
join:2002-04-05
Jamaica, NY
| Re: Why it's necessary. said by NormanS :<hyperbole> The lady commenting is obviously aware of a very serious problem afflicting our industrialized world: dihydrogen monoxide! Oh no, a dangerous environmentally persistent industrial solvent. | |
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Maxo
Your tax dollars at work.
Premium,VIP
join:2002-11-04
Tallahassee, FL
clubs:
·Embarq
| or on fire I did SBC technical support when there was massive wild fires in California. We where given verbiage to read in the event that someone from a burnt up region called regarding the lack of DSL service. Apparently there was expectations that people whose complete neighborhoods where burnt to the ground would call irate that their DSL was down. | |
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| | patcat88
join:2002-04-05
Jamaica, NY | Re: or on fire There is no excuse for not burying all the utility lines 35 feet underground in concrete. WW3 won't bring down the network. | |
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| | | matm347
join:2002-04-22
Pasadena, TX | Re: or on fire Somewhat difficult to get cables that are 35 feet in cement to repair/add/remove.....think of the liabilities when such a hole is in someone's back yard and their kid falls in.. | |
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| | | | patcat88
join:2002-04-05
Jamaica, NY | Re: or on fire A National Security Letter will take care of that very quickly. National Security comes before tort law. Nothing like loosing a gag ordered case (similar to Area 51). | |
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| | badshot23
join:2004-10-05
Independence, MO
| I worked tech support at TWC when hurricane Katrina wiped out New Orleans. We had one persistent caller who was absolutely certain that because she couldn't access Tulane University's website it was our (TWC's) fault, and we needed to get a tech out to her house NOW to fix it.
Ahh, sometimes I miss that job. | |
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MrMoody
Carbon Based Lifeform
join:2002-09-03
Smithfield, NC | Instructions Modem is not an aquarium decoration.
Do not put modem in the microwave. | |
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Mad Mac
join:2003-03-10
Moorpark, CA | Typical..... They couldn't even spell "automatically" correctly...... | |
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Cheechchong
@fluor.com | 420 What do modems smoke?
Inquiring minds want to know. | |
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| patcat88
join:2002-04-05
Jamaica, NY | Re: 420 Marlbonet. | |
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lead cable man
@swbell.net
| Consumers are part of problem They only add those ridiculous disclaimers because those have been known causes from consumers. I went on a trouble ticket once where the customer was pissed because his self install failed to get him up and running. I looked at his computer desk and saw the 2Wire sitting by itself on the desk with no cords plugged in. No power, no ethernet, no RJ11 from the jack. Then the dude becomes irate because the sales people told him it was "wireless". | |
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Geowil11
@cox.net
| ha this one made me laugh.
Used to work for AT&T in a Volt/2Wire call center. One of the things we were required to ask customers with wireless issues was if their area recently experienced a thermonuclear explosion. I only asked a customer that once, because it was such a stupid ass question. Got a few laughs out of the guy I asked it to though. | |
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Pirate515
Premium
join:2001-01-22
Brooklyn, NY
| Re: ha said by Geowil11 :
this one made me laugh.
Used to work for AT&T in a Volt/2Wire call center. One of the things we were required to ask customers with wireless issues was if their area recently experienced a thermonuclear explosion. I only asked a customer that once, because it was such a stupid ass question. Got a few laughs out of the guy I asked though. ROFL. Talk about retarded management (and I mean not just stupid, but retarded). I hope that the guy who you asked that did mention that if his area did experience a thermonuclear explosion, he would not be around to bust your balls about his wireless problem.
--
Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies...
A MESSAGE to the RIAA and the MPAA: You shouldn't wound what you can't kill... | |
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dslfan
join:2006-02-02
Brooklyn, NY
·Verizon Online DSL
| Smashed modem troubles I see plastic parts on the floor part of the breadboard on the table. Some still inside biggest plastic piece. I also have ripped by hand wire next to the pc tower. At&T removed from the troubleshooting website that information. I'm now confused why doesn't the modem you know..... "work." I need to call the support line and ask for help in getting it to work. It might be they will walk me through. I hope they have steps on putting it back together.  | |
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| dentman42
join:2001-10-02
Columbus, OH
·AT&T Midwest
| Re: Smashed modem troubles said by dslfan :I see plastic parts on the floor part of the breadboard on the table. Some still inside biggest plastic piece. I also have ripped by hand wire next to the pc tower. At&T removed from the troubleshooting website that information. I'm now confused why doesn't the modem you know..... "work." I need to call the support line and ask for help in getting it to work. It might be they will walk me through. I hope they have steps on putting it back together. Maybe when you call you'll get lucky and David will answer. | |
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RR Conductor
RailRoadDude
Premium
join:2002-04-02
Redwood Valley, CA
 ·Comcast
2 edits | Nuclear weapons make surfing the interweb tough I think they meant Nuclear Detonation or Burst | |
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KrK
Heavy Artillery For The Little Guy
Premium
join:2000-01-17
Tulsa, OK | Re: I think the best I had OMG You're the bastid who laughed when my computer was killed by DSL!!!
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David
No,there is another.
Premium,VIP
join:2002-05-30
Granite City, IL
clubs:
 ·DIRECTV
·magicjack.com
·AT&T Midwest
| I have heard some doozies over the years. there was even the one where here's how it went.
Me: "How many lights are currently lit on the modem ma'aam?
her: I think there is like 50 lights... he he he (this he he he would get annoying after a while)
me: (Line's in sync, can ping it, it's responding, just no movement of traffic) So what happens when you try to connect with the PPPoE software.
(I hear a faint and a really, really loud crash over the phone).
me: hello? ma'aam?! ....... hello?
(I hear snoring now...) 
End result: NO accessing ticket till morning suspect E/U has to sleep it off.
--
If you have a topic in the direct forum please reply to it or a post of mine, I get a notification when you do this.
Koetting Ford, Granite City, illinois... YOU'RE FIRED!!
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| dslfan
join:2006-02-02
Brooklyn, NY | Poor guy getting calls from not the brightest bulbs! | |
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Did You Know: 'Smashed To Bits' Modems May Not Work
