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story category Entire World Being Sued
'Our Rights Are More Important Than Yours'
(old news - 12:24PM Sunday Dec 07 2003)
tags: fun
"A reverse class action suit against every human being on the entire planet" is being prepared by the RIAA, MPAA, and SCO, seeking $63 billion for unpaid royalties on every copyrighted phrase ever heard, and every benefit ever obtained from information on a Linux server. The amount comes to about $10 from every living person. "We feel this is absolutely fair, even a bargain," says a spokesperson. In considering a location for filing the suit, "candidates included Bangladesh and Nigeria, reputedly the world's two most corrupt countries," and "the United States, where SCO, MPAA, and RIAA are all headquartered."

The lawsuit may be expanded to include others who are not inhabitants of Earth. "We have not ruled out legal action against beings on other planets who may be illegally copying radio or TV transmissions they pick up from their spacecraft or with super-powerful receivers on their home worlds."

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Forums » Entire World Being Sued
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CarterStClai
X-Out The W

join:2002-04-17
Sugar Land, TX

Heheheh...

Heheheh...

Descent
Wrap It Up
Premium
join:2000-11-10
WDC Suburb

Re: Heheheh...

The lawsuit may be expanded to include others who are not inhabitants of Earth. "We have not ruled out legal action against beings on other planets who may be illegally copying radio or TV transmissions they pick up from their spacecraft or with super-powerful receivers on their home worlds."

ROFL
--
Check out BBR's own Counter-Strike server: bbrcs.clanspace.com:27015
www.cstrike-planet.com

ROCINANTE 2112
Original Member 007

join:1999-06-29
Hartsdale, NY
clubs:
Let's see how many people actually read the article before posting.
--
CRUNCH THIS!

Counterstric
I Was Here

join:2002-07-18

Re: Heheheh...

said by ROCINANTE 2112 See Profile:
Let's see how many people actually read the article before posting.

It indeed will be interesting.
--
I do not hate xor love Windows, I hate and love Windows... That's why I can laugh about Windows and still use it.

J D McDorce
Premium
join:2001-12-29
Westland, MI

Re: Heheheh...

I was expecting to see a link to The Onion.

dslrtest222

join:2003-01-26

Re: Heheheh...

said by J D McDorce See Profile:
I was expecting to see a link to The Onion.

true...

DigitalJeff
I See Squished People
Premium
join:2003-10-07
Denver, CO


edit:
December 10th, @01:21AM

Re: Heheheh...

Does anybody have a patent on the pixel?

I hereby patent the pixel. Every computer owner in the world must pay me for their resolution usage... I'd say $0.01 per pixel is a bargain!

Quick, set your desktops to 640x480!

EDIT: Note to government officials, don't get any ideas, there's no way to enforce a Pixel Tax.
dagg

join:2001-03-25
Rio Linda, CA
·Cox HSI
·Covad Communications
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Re: Heheheh...

said by DigitalJeff See Profile:
Does anybody have a patent on the pixel?

I hereby patent the pixel. Every computer owner in the world must pay me for their resolution usage... I'd say $0.01 per pixel is a bargain!

Quick, set your desktops to 640x480!

EDIT: Note to government officials, don't get any ideas, there's no way to enforce a Pixel Tax.

im leaving mine at 1200x1600...
bill me

Nanoprobe
Wandering in subspace
Premium
join:2003-05-11
Orlando, FL
clubs:
Don't give it away.LMAO

kfolsom
Where the fit hits the shan
Premium
join:2003-01-31
Yucaipa, CA
·Verizon west (ex G..

said by ROCINANTE 2112 See Profile:
Let's see how many people actually read the article before posting.

Upon reflection, I do not wish to post. Take me back!

Turftech
Flying on empty
Premium
join:2002-01-03
Up the River
·Shaw
·TELUS

Are you kidding me? You expect me to read the article? I can't read! Well... Maybe the pictures. I like to read the pictures. Is that why they are taking all our money?
--
We've allways looked at the stars... If you look at the sky, you can see the beginning of time.

Omega
Displaced Ohioan
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Santa Maria, CA
clubs:
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said by ROCINANTE 2112 See Profile:
Let's see how many people actually read the article before posting.

I just read the headlines and make ignorant comments

j/k
--
"The doctor's X-Rayed my head and found nothing"

SuperJudge
Magus
Premium
join:2002-11-14
Albany, GA
clubs:
I would love to see that, then I'd love to see the whole world in a countersuit.
--
MediaXPeer

Brianv5
Low Level Functionary
Premium
join:2001-01-20
Keyser, WV
I propose a counter suit! I've suffered emotional distress, so has my dog.
--
Anything can be tweaked!
rshoch
Premium
join:2003-09-01
Santa Ana, CA

No No No

It's not nice to counter sue the insane...
ayal5

join:2001-04-05
Brooklyn, NY

Re: Heheheh...

My hearing has been damaged by listening to cr@ppy music and children's brains are being corrupted by the cr@p these companies produce lets counter sue for $1trillion and divide it equally amongst all inhabitants of Earth and other planets which have been subjected to this "art".

N3OGH
Will it all be Obama's fault now?
Premium
join:2003-11-11
Philly burbs
My cat has filed a counter suit against your counter suit.

Oreo, Feline of Boothwyn, PA seeks damages against the RIAA in the amount of 100KG of Purina cat chow and 3 catnip toys.....
Desdinova

join:2003-01-26
Gaithersburg, MD

Re: Heheheh...

My Border Collie, also named Oreo, is suing your cat for damages and diress infringing upon her personal identity as a Canine-American. Surrender the Milk Bones or face a stained carpet.

Synon29

join:2003-09-13
Clovis, NM
Rofl too funny.

lazarus_

join:2002-08-31
Resolute, NU

said by CarterStClai See Profile:
Heheheh...

SOCAN should get their share too.. LOL
--
It's a once in a lifetime thing that only happens every so often.

aliasrlz
Premium
join:2000-09-01
the world
LOL...this must be a joke. Are they kidding me? How do you sue the world?
--
If you have to ask what EFNET is, you don't need broadband
Sarge_0321

join:2002-06-27
San Diego, CA

Re: Heheheh...

You fannagle the U.S. military to doing it for you. Like how the U.S. military was used in the Middle East.
eynlai

join:2001-01-02
Temple City, CA
That said, is there anymore prove needed to prove the greed of the studios?? I hope they don't forget the sue the bacterias as well.

tekniq
Premium
join:2001-06-17
Lenexa, KS
clubs:
ahh something positive from the news... no wait.. now I'm out 10 bucks..
ga'damnit there goes this weeks cigars.
--
Guess things just aint the same these days...

Eglsct86

join:2000-11-22
Hackensack, NJ
If Slavery Reparations haven't been paid out, what makes the RIAA think this will be?

What a waste of everyone's time and energy.

Jan Janowski

join:2000-06-18
Skokie, IL

I should....

Patent the doorknob!

I could then sue everybody who owns one!!

Think of the potential!!!
--
Looking for 1939 Indian Motocycle
tdkyo

join:2002-12-07
Rochester, NY

Re: I should....

I already patented the alphabet.
nl4jy

join:2002-05-02
Brooklyn, NY

Re: I should....

I patented on how to breath, now where's my money.
IIdeathboyII

join:2003-07-26
Nicholasville, KY

...Waahahahahahahahaha

I'll go to jail before I Give those greedy bastards my $10, what the hell are people becoming?
--
_Dont Steal...The Government hates competition_

Anti_Cyrix
Premium
join:2003-03-06
Sacramento, CA

Re: ...Waahahahahahahahaha

Yeah... Lets see.
Most of the people on this planet will not pay them $10 anyway. What are they going to do? Send everyone to jail?

This lawsuit is the dumbest thing Ive heard sofar this year - Seriousley.

draven
Premium,Mod
join:2002-02-20
my bunker

Host:
General Questions
No, I Will Not Fix..

This is getting ridiculous.

How does the RIAA, MPAA and SCO really expect to prove that every human has participated in copyright infringement????????

This is absolutely nuts. And other planets? We haven't found anyone yet!

Ohwell. Need to go now and take my meds.

This post brought to you by stupidity
--
"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world." - George Bernard Shaw

Speedy8
Premium
join:2002-08-22
Alliance, OH
clubs:

Re: This is getting ridiculous.

Looks like we have out first "doesn't get it"!

snipper_cr

join:2002-01-22
Wheaton, IL
clubs:

Re: This is getting ridiculous.

ORAMITY 1, world 0

draven
Premium,Mod
join:2002-02-20
my bunker

Host:
General Questions
No, I Will Not Fix..
I couldn't get the first post of the thread, so I wanted to be the first to effectuate the utter stupidity others were waiting for
--
"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world." - George Bernard Shaw
nl4jy

join:2002-05-02
Brooklyn, NY

because at one point any comment was either on the movies or music. Like "I'll be back!" Doh!!! there goes my $10. Doh!!! I mean $20, $%#* I guess it's $30 now.
--
If it ain't broken, don't try to fix it. If it's broken, buy a new one.
Disco Nic

join:2003-07-29
Northridge, CA

Look Out!

I think the RIAA already did a story like that.
Rut Roh!

Night007
Premium
join:2001-12-29
Vineland, NJ

Re: Look Out!

Sigh,
I admit it, Im truly from Mars and have been intercepting your music and television shows.
--
Every time I look at myself I cant believe how awesome I am!
RavenTKR

join:2003-05-12
Cleveland, OH
Is this some kind of a joke?
Please tell me it is!
snkeyes3

join:2003-09-23

Re: Look Out!

This isn't a joke. The RIAA has been cataloging illegal copyright use by monitoring the brainwaves of randomly selected "anonymous participants." To avoid being a "participant" in their studies, a helmet constructed of crumpled aluminum foil will disperse the EM field radiated by your mind, effectively removing you from the RIAA sample group.

The future is now...
8744675

join:2000-10-10
Decatur, GA

Re: Look Out!

That's what happened to my friend! He told me his brain waves were being monitored and little shadow people were following him around everywhere and sneaking into his bedroom at night. He even put up foil paper around his bed to keep them away. Then the police came with some legal documents and took him away and he hasn't been heard from since. He must have copied ALOT of music!
ghandlin

join:2002-02-11
Fallston, MD

said by snkeyes3 See Profile:
To avoid being a "participant" in their studies, a helmet constructed of crumpled aluminum foil will disperse the EM field radiated by your mind, effectively removing you from the RIAA sample group.

I saw that Unscrewed also... weird guy.

Hmm... I just quoted you, does that mean I now owe you $10 too?
--
- Well, whaddaya know?

Transmaster
Don't Blame Me I Voted For Bill and Opus

join:2001-06-20
Cheyenne, WY

Babylon 5

There was a scene in an episode of B5 that showed a court room scene where a human was suing a "Gray" alien for
abducting his many times great grandfather. The alien showed a card with a symbol from Roswell, NM. The Judge with an exasperated tone of voice call for a translator.
even though the scene was very short I just could not stop laughing.
--
I love Irish Terriers, Low Brass, and the sound of a 1950 Johnson Viking 1 tranmitter on the air for the first time in 30 years.

avd706
Premium
join:2003-02-06
Great Neck, NY

Re: Babylon 5

you dont remember the name of the episode do you?

Transmaster
Don't Blame Me I Voted For Bill and Opus

join:2001-06-20
Cheyenne, WY

Re: Babylon 5

said by avd706 See Profile:
you dont remember the name of the episode do you?

I am trying to remember the episode the aliens where called the Vree. let you know if I can figure which episodes.
--
I love Irish Terriers, Low Brass, and the sound of a 1950 Johnson Viking 1 tranmitter on the air for the first time in 30 years.

Pero2

join:2003-02-06
Birmingham, AL

That's hilarious!

Very funny, indeed.

Chopper Dave

@attbi.com

Re: That's hilarious!

I think the joke is if they actually succeeded in even getting a hearing.

Rogue Wolf
Came To Bury Caesar, Not To Praise Him

join:2003-08-12
Saratoga Springs, NY

Attention Oxygen Breathers:

I have now filed Patent #627,546,784 with the US Patent Office, granting me full and unlimited licensing rights over the process of intaking oxygen to sustain life processes. My team of lawyers is in the process of including every oxygen-breathing form of life on the planet in a class-action lawsuit to recover retroactive licensing fees, dating back to the first life form on Earth to process oxygen. We expect to claim $5.85 for every breath taken ($8.40 for very deep breaths).
In order to exempt yourself from this class-action lawsuit, send to me in a package, postmarked no later than yesterday, the following:
$315,000 in US currency (small, nonsequential, unmarked bills)
One (1) fresh beef taco with lettuce and tomatoes (no sour cream)

(I loves me my tacos. )

PS. Please watch this space for the forthcoming announcement of a class-action lawsuit against all helium-breathing life forms.
--
This signature is IQ sensitive. If you are reading this message, your IQ is insufficient to grasp the sheer genius of the real signature.

See 10 replies to this post

Rendaddy

join:2003-09-09
Saint Peters, MO

Riaa sucks

if thats the case the people sueing everyone will fall in the same case and the judge and the jury with have to be on trail also

CS_Buddy
Black Mage
Premium
join:2002-01-03
Canada
clubs:

Re: Riaa sucks

So what you're saying is this case will never get to trial because it would be impossible to find someone impartial judge (and an impartial jury) to try the case? Awesome!

Jury: "We're sorry your honor, since we breathe, listen to music, and use computers, I'm afraid we aren't neutral enough to hear this case"

Judge: "Damn... neither am I... next Judge and Jury!
--
You are saying impudence to me! THAT IS IMPUDENCE!!!

Rendaddy

join:2003-09-09
Saint Peters, MO
yeah they are going to need a real big court room for all of us

Descent
Wrap It Up
Premium
join:2000-11-10
WDC Suburb

Re: Riaa sucks

how can our justice system demand things from people in other countries?
rid0617

join:2003-07-20
Greer, SC

But?

The brains behind Redmund, Washington are going, hmmm, think we could do that too?

Mospaw
What time is it again?
Premium,Mod
join:2001-01-08
Las Vegas, NV

They are out of control and must be stopped!

I think the bastards responsible for this lawsuit are way too greedy. Asking $5 for every man, woman, and child is one thing, but $10? NO WAY!

They're out of control with these lawsuits and must be stopped.

Varangian

join:2002-12-08
Collinsville, IL

I confess!

The Gamesters paid me 200,000,000 quatloos to hook them up with some unprotected copies of Brittney Spears videos!
snkeyes3

join:2003-09-23


edit:
December 8th, @03:51PM

Re: I confess!

You said "Brittney Spears" without permission. You're gonna get sued!!

ACKKK!!! I just said "Brittney Spears!" I'm gonna get sued!!

AAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!! I just said "Brittney Spears" again!!! And AGAIN again!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't afford the legal fees!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor Four
My other vehicle is a TARDIS
Premium
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Dallas, TX
·AT&T U-Verse
·RoadRunner Cable
·AT&T Yahoo


edit:
December 7th, @01:26PM

Maybe we should get the "grays" in on it:

Hmmm:

quote:
"The lawsuit may be expanded to include others who are not inhabitants of Earth. "We have not ruled out legal action against beings on other planets who may be illegally copying radio or TV transmissions they pick up from their spacecraft or with super-powerful receivers on their home worlds."
"What TV or Radio transmissions, earthlings?"

Maybe we can get them to disintegrate RIAA, MPAA and SCO
headqaurters with those technologically advanced weapons
of theirs...
--
"Kayura or Badamon, whichever you are, you should know that I will never give up this battle. By the will of the Ancient, I shall succeed!" - Shuten (Anubis) from the Ronin Warriors.

skyjock41
Shag Diesel
Premium
join:2001-12-11
Ledyard, CT
clubs:

Im down with it

Whats the address to mail the check to? If my ten dollars will get them to STFU and go away with all their BS then ill pay em!

CyberSchnook3
Kiwi's Schnook
Premium
join:2002-07-27
Blue Nowhere

E.W.B.B.Sued

Sergeant, if there's a bullet left in my gun, there ain't gonna BE no bayonet fightin'!
--
There are a few normal people running loose. You're not one of them.

exocet_cm
Signal 26's Rock
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New Orleans, LA
clubs:
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A good read.

Ahh, I need this book.

--
He that feeds a disease, feeds an enemy. Some diseases are starved. Starve your sins by fasting and humiliation. Either kill your sin, or your sin will kill you. - Thomas Watson Harmless as doves 131

3SGTE
ST215W
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join:2000-11-23
there
clubs:

Dead link

Anyone got a live link or cache?

fatness
subtle
Janitor
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fishing

Host:
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TekSavvy
Forum Feature Requ..
Need Site Help?
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Re: Dead link

said by 3SGTE See Profile:
Anyone got a live link or cache?

[code]»www.newsforge.com/article.pl?sid···6[/code]

--
Electrolux Death Ray

3SGTE
ST215W
Premium,MVM
join:2000-11-23
there
clubs:

Re: Dead link

That worked, thanks.

Logwind

join:2003-06-20

I wouldn't put it past them.

Laugh now.

gwion
wild colonial boy
Premium,ExMod 2003-08
join:2000-12-28
Pittsburgh, PA

In the Court of Common Pleas of the Planet of Gorg

civil division - law


TO ALL EARTHLINGS TO WHOM THESE PRESENTS MAY COME, GREETINGS:

And Now, this fifty second day of Bazorg, 123,434, on joint suit of the Gorg Recording Industry Interstellar Cabal, and the RIAA and MPAA, and upon your default to appear in proceedings after due notice, judgement is hereby entered against you, and you are commanded to immediately take the following actions:

1. Immediately disable all unauthorized broadcast transmitters owned by NASA, various research facilities, and others, capable of transmitting copyrighted material to our planet, or otherwise filter such signals.

2. Cease and desist, immediately, from capturing illegally our broadcasts, by, including, but not limited to, using SETI systems, radio telescopes, etc., and ripping streams from our spacecraft operating in your quadrant by any means.

3. Return Keith Richards to us immediately.

Failure to comply will result in the instituting of proceedings to collect a royalty of 100 plutonium Cragogs for each unlawfully copied song or motion picture.

... and will you please send a spaceship at your earliest convenience and ... -- GET YOUR DAMN RIAA LAWYER THE HELL OFF OF OUR PLANET??? In the spirit of intergalactic cooperation, and for the merciful love of God???? Thank you.
--
The willow bends unbroken when angry tempests blow,The stately oak is levelled and all its strength laid low...Oliver Wendell Holmes
Even when you feel like your life is fading
I know that you'll go on forever
You're that good...

CyberSchnook3
Kiwi's Schnook
Premium
join:2002-07-27
Blue Nowhere

Re: In the Court of Common Pleas of the Planet of Gorg

Most of that is OK, but we're keeping Keith Richards; otherwise Jagger would look like hell.
--
There are a few normal people running loose. You're not one of them.

Coot
Click To Undress
Premium
join:2001-02-10
Not Here
clubs:

Cash Laden Investor Looking

Sooo, anyone know the stock symbol for oramity? I think a substantial investment is in order

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Forums » Entire World Being Suedpage: 1 · 2 · 3


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