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High Speed Outhouse?
Microsoft takes broadband to the 'loo'
(old news - 07:00PM Tuesday May 06 2003)
tags: alternatives · world
Apparently in an attempt to reach customers at summer fairs and concerts, Microsoft is preparing to bring broadband to outhouses across the UK. The outhouses, which Microsoft has dubbed the "iLoo", will apparently be equipped with either a DSL interface or a 802.11 wireless lan connection, a plasma display, and even a six channel surround sound system. MSN UK is apparently even negotiating with toilet paper manufacturers for specially made toilet paper that advertises web sites. "Reading in the loo, or the bog, is a traditional English pastime," says one English analyst in this CNet report. "We have a pretty unique toilet humor in the U.K.."

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Forums » High Speed Outhouse?
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tdkyo

join:2002-12-07
Rochester, NY

Ewww

Reading ads while you are "doing" business and "wiping" them? Don't know about that idea. I hope the service will be good.
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:02:07 · Reply to this

nunya
SEE ROCK CITY 475 MILES
Premium,MVM
join:2000-12-23
O Fallon, MO
clubs:

Hopefully...

Hopefully there are no web-cams or touch-screens.
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:05:20 · Reply to this
averagedude

join:2002-01-30
Mesa, AZ
·Cox HSI

Re: Hopefully...

said by nunya See Profile:
Hopefully there are no web-cams or touch-screens.
touch-screens . . . eweeh! (shivers)
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:32:49 · Reply to this

CPM

join:2001-08-24
Miami, FL

Re: Hopefully...

Okay I will go this low..I guess then George Michael can wank in style next time..To GAYMEAT.COM. when he uses logs in the bathroom..
permalink · 2003-05-06 21:53:35 · Reply to this

BliZZardX
Premium
join:2002-08-18
Toronto, ON
--
#SympaticoSucks on EFNet for all your sympatico rants.
permalink · 2003-05-06 22:27:09 · Reply to this

Zzyzx
Sean Raines
Premium
join:2002-12-04
Phoenix, AZ
clubs:
·Cox HSI

Eww...

I wouldn't want to touch that keyboard after someone else just went to the bathroom. I mean you're using it BEFORE you wash your hands!! I could just imagine one covered with poo!

Security is another issue. Because of the expensive hardware inside, Microsoft plans to post a guard to protect the iLoo.

"If we didn't post a guard, somebody would probably just lift the whole thing up and walk away with it," Whittingham said.

BAHAHA!
--
Hazzah! You don't get a ding.
sean(at)blueeyes(dot)jp
Check out my website! »www.blueeyes.jp
AIM: Conciliatory MSN: sean(at)blueeyes(dot)jp Yahoo!: zzyzx_az ICQ: 120080000
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:05:44 · Print · Reply to this

theowl
Go Cards

join:2001-05-03
Saint Louis, MO
clubs:

Re: Eww...

Not just a keyboard a "wireless keyboard for your lap"

NAKED LAP!!!!!

I don't think so....
--
HEY MO!!!STOOGES RULE....
permalink · 2003-05-06 22:37:25 · Reply to this

Zzyzx
Sean Raines
Premium
join:2002-12-04
Phoenix, AZ
clubs:
·Cox HSI

Re: Eww...

said by theowl See Profile:
Not just a keyboard a "wireless keyboard for your lap"

NAKED LAP!!!!!

I don't think so....
Keyboard condom?
permalink · 2003-05-06 22:38:42 · Reply to this

garagerock
Premium
join:2002-06-14
Louisville, KY

Lookout out below...here comes a massive download

EOM
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:09:41 · Reply to this
mwf

join:2000-11-26
Granite Quarry, NC

Oh Great

So now I have to wait for some moron to finish checking his e-mail or stock portfolio while I dance outside? I don't think so. The guard isn't there to prevent anything from being stolen, he's there to keep them from being tipped over.
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:10:06 · Reply to this
desreversti

join:2002-09-03
San Antonio, TX

Re: Oh Great

said by mwf See Profile:
So now I have to wait for some moron to finish checking his e-mail or stock portfolio while I dance outside? I don't think so. The guard isn't there to prevent anything from being stolen, he's there to keep them from being tipped over.
If you note, they also mention that there will be a few more comps outside outside, but on the loo
[text was edited by author 2003-05-06 19:13:16]
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:12:48 · Print · Reply to this

KoolMoe
Aw Man
Premium
join:2001-02-14
Annapolis, MD
clubs:		 Exactly. Like the wife doesn't have enough to bitc* at me about - now I gotta hear about taking too long in the bathroom too...
KM
permalink · 2003-05-06 21:27:39 · Reply to this

pnh102
Reptiles Are Cuddly And Pretty
Premium
join:2002-05-02
Mount Airy, MD

Who needs Microsoft?

WiFi + Laptop + Bathroom = All Set.
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:19:30 · Reply to this
bmn
? ? ?
Premium,ExMod 2003-06
join:2001-03-15
hiatus

Re: Who needs Microsoft?

Been there... Done that (except with 100Base not Wifi). Seriously, when you have to download, you have to download.
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:39:57 · Reply to this
Kearnstd
Elf Wizard
Premium
join:2002-01-22
Mullica Hill, NJ

Re: Who needs Microsoft?

problem with toilets is their download has a smaller pipe then their upload.
--
[65 Arcanist]Filan(High Elf) Zone: Broadband Reports
permalink · 2003-05-07 00:35:50 · Reply to this

number1melon
Premium
join:2003-01-17
Fort Lauderdale, FL

humm

something tell me that there will be "microsoft blows" or "linux rules" or "down with the monopolists" smeared in shit across the screen.
--
My PC crashed. I hate my life.--www.nukethemnow.com
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:34:13 · Reply to this
DonLibes
Premium,ExMod 2001
join:2003-01-19

Re: humm

Gives new meaning to the phrases "flush the cache" and "wipe the disk".
permalink · 2003-05-06 20:20:40 · Reply to this

ewoodpark

join:2003-02-04
Flossmoor, IL

Re: humm

Not to mention "buffer overruns".
permalink · 2003-05-08 13:57:43 · Reply to this

number1melon
Premium
join:2003-01-17
Fort Lauderdale, FL		 haha
permalink · 2003-05-06 20:22:07 · Reply to this

bokamba
Chengdu Rocks
Premium
join:2002-04-05
Falls Church, VA

It's just a plain old bad idea.

It's too expensive, and people will stay inside way too long. 'Nuff said.
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:45:47 · Reply to this

Roundel
Blau Und Weiss
Premium
join:2002-03-24
Westport, CT
clubs:
·Optimum Online

Re: It's just a plain old bad idea.

said by bokamba See Profile:
It's too expensive, and people will stay inside way too long. 'Nuff said.
That and "whats the point"!
--
You can still call me Volks
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:50:55 · Reply to this

KyleC
Nikon Guy
Premium
join:2001-12-13
Dallas, TX

Re: It's just a plain old bad idea.

they say nothing about cleanliness, do the british just not care?
permalink · 2003-05-06 19:57:19 · Reply to this

bokamba
Chengdu Rocks
Premium
join:2002-04-05
Falls Church, VA

Re: It's just a plain old bad idea.

Yeah... it's not like people will be washing their hands before touching the keyboard. Ick. *shudders*
permalink · 2003-05-06 21:37:46 · Reply to this
Tom Zachman

join:2002-12-01
Dodge City, KS

I admire Bill Gates!!

After all, he named his company after his sex organ.
permalink · 2003-05-06 20:11:59 · Reply to this

dvd536
as Mr. Pink as they come
Premium
join:2001-04-27
Phoenix, AZ

Microsoft

Where do you want to "go" today
permalink · 2003-05-06 20:57:15 · Reply to this

72276539
Premium
join:2001-01-19
Atlanta, GA

Well ain't that a crapper!

If it doesn't work do you then have shitty service?
permalink · 2003-05-06 21:23:26 · Reply to this

newview
Ex .. Ex .. Exactly
Premium
join:2001-10-01
Parsonsburg, MD

How about that !

Micro$oft has finally found their niche service.
permalink · 2003-05-06 21:32:06 · Reply to this

Sealink
Premium
join:2002-08-09
U.S.

Plenty

What a waste of bandwidth. Is nothing sacred? Like Microsoft has bandwidth coming out of their ears to spare on U.K. public toilets. They need to use Microsoft Press as the toilet paper then.
permalink · 2003-05-06 21:47:46 · Reply to this

audiomax
All Else Fails Pull The Plug

join:2002-02-20
Grand Rapids, MI

going in style

how would you like to be the next person to go in after someone who couldnt aim? or did aim at the keyboard? just what i wanna do, look at pop up ads while dropping a bomb
--
is it friday yet?
permalink · 2003-05-06 22:38:15 · Reply to this

NeoGeo64
Premium
join:2001-09-22
Leesburg, GA

Re: going in style

Someone use one and do a speedtest!
permalink · 2003-05-06 22:46:24 · Reply to this

Bumpin1ohm
Bumpin1ohm
Premium
join:2002-07-15
Aurora, CO
clubs:

Re: going in style

said by NeoGeo64 See Profile:
Someone use one and do a speedtest!
a true dslr'er comment lol
--
You say dis is indo? smell mo like outdo
permalink · 2003-05-06 23:22:45 · Reply to this

IGGY
No Guru Just Here To Help
Premium,MVM
join:2001-03-30
Chatham, IL

Interesting concept with undivided attention

Now you can look at crap while taking one. Wonder how much the person who came up with this concept got paid? And actually it's a rip off of an already in use concept and is also taken from a Dana Carvey movie OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS. Maybe just a bit more high tech. I guess it could be considered a technological upgrade of sorts.

""It could induce a certain amount of queuing due to excess browsing on the part of users," Kay said."
--
Test Your Security
Team Z Member
Cable Modem Diagnostics
InsightBB 3000/384 XP PRO
[text was edited by author 2003-05-07 00:00:38]
permalink · 2003-05-06 23:27:23 · Print · Reply to this

IGGY
No Guru Just Here To Help
Premium,MVM
join:2001-03-30
Chatham, IL

Re: Interesting concept with undivided attention

Microsoft claims that the iLoo, an outhouse with a built-in terminal for Web browsing, was an April Fools' Day gag--even though it was announced May 2.

»news.com.com/2100-1041_3-1001109···g=fd_top
permalink · 2003-05-13 07:23:37 · Reply to this
mooty

join:2001-01-28
Riverdale, GA

Cause and effect, or pause and defecate

I suppose these "iLoos" would come equipped with more than your standard regular, eh, "surge" protection ?

Would you be able to communicate with other "iLoos" ?

How exactly am I supposed to feel convinced that I won't get like a real virus ?

Is this something that might interest the airlines, installing onboard broadband PC-equipped lavatories ?
Luftansa comes to mind, since they've successfully piloted the idea of inflight broadband - Achtung! Achtung!

What about the "Splashscreen" ? Maybe it'll read something like "Welcome to iLoo, please LOG IN to begin end your session pissession.

Will pushing the lever, (or pulling the chain) to flush the toilet also clear the screen ?

There WAS a time in my life when I did NOT know what an "IP" address was - how times have changed, now I know - and it comes with wheels !

Microsoft recruitment AD - - WANTED: I.T. professionals with hands-on janitorial experience needed.

I couldn't resist.
--
Alright, BIG MAN! So You Want To Make the BIG BUCK$, Eh??!!. . . . . . Do You Know How To Handle a Machine-gun?
[text was edited by author 2003-05-07 00:38:15]
permalink · 2003-05-07 00:04:51 · Print · Reply to this
bmn
? ? ?
Premium,ExMod 2003-06
join:2001-03-15
hiatus

Re: Cause and effect, or pause and defecate

said by mooty See Profile:
How exactly am I supposed to feel convinced that I won't get like a real virus ?
iLoo Norton Antivirus Pop-up:

WARNING! Clap virus detected ! Clean, Delete or Deny Access ?
--
root by day... raver by night...
Byte caps = POOR network design
permalink · 2003-05-07 01:01:42 · Print · Reply to this

mrchris
We don't miss you Bush
Premium
join:2002-10-01
North Babylon, NY

LOL

This has to be a joke, seems to be a waste of money and tech on portapotties. I mean who wants to take a dump while checking their email or something?
permalink · 2003-05-07 00:08:27 · Reply to this

TheSaint

join:2002-01-25
Hanover Park, IL
clubs:
·Charter Pipeline
·Comcast

Microsoft needs help...

Instead of improving their hard-to-use products or adding features to existing ones, MS continues to waste money on novelty items such as this. We can only shake our heads as consumers and wonder why XP Pro costs $300 and is full of bugs, compared to Adobe Photoshop, that has been improving year after year, and is worth it's high price tag. Thank goodness for Adobe and other software developers that actually develop technology that people can use. (BTW, if I see one of those hanging around while I'm in the U.K. I'll be very temped to tip it over! The outhouses should have a big sticker on the outside saying: "Yuppie Inside" Let's hope they don't get sued by Intel!
permalink · 2003-05-07 00:26:45 · Print · Reply to this

garagerock
Premium
join:2002-06-14
Louisville, KY

the onion strikes again....

»www.theonion.com/onion3536/e_toilet.html
permalink · 2003-05-07 06:07:45 · Reply to this

theowl
Go Cards

join:2001-05-03
Saint Louis, MO
clubs:
·Charter Pipeline

Re: the onion strikes again....

said by garagerock See Profile:
»www.theonion.com/onion3536/e_toilet.html
I love that place...hehe
--
HEY MO!!!STOOGES RULE....
permalink · 2003-05-07 08:16:42 · Reply to this
Kip patterson
Premium
join:2000-10-23
Columbus, OH

IBM fails again.

It just shows how constipated old-line companies can be. International BM should have scooped up this idea years ago.
permalink · 2003-05-07 06:31:33 · Reply to this
Forums » High Speed Outhouse?page: 1 · 2

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