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<title>UK Chat forum - dslreports.com community</title>
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<copyright>Copyright 2007, dslreports.com</copyright>
<pubDate>Tue, 02 Dec 2008 18:42:15 EDT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>[Joke] Marriage is like telling a joke</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21515186</link>
<description><![CDATA[Have you heard the one about the happily married man who walks into a pub?

No, nor have I!]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21515186</guid>
<pubDate>2008-12-02 13:32:07</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] Voted Best Joke in Ireland 2008 (Aparently)</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21508929</link>
<description><![CDATA[John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'

She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'

John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'

'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'

She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.' ]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21508929</guid>
<pubDate>2008-12-01 12:25:22</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] The Christmas Season Begins</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21508926</link>
<description><![CDATA[2008's First Christmas Joke   

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said,  'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. 

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and  finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.' ]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21508926</guid>
<pubDate>2008-12-01 12:24:39</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] Photo time</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21500567</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21500567</guid>
<pubDate>2008-11-29 11:47:46</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21500547</link>
<description><![CDATA[1.  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ?If I died, would you get another dog??

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
  
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21500547</guid>
<pubDate>2008-11-29 11:42:42</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] fishing</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21500509</link>
<description><![CDATA[A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. 
She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel? 
He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.' She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. 
He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00. 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter', she says. I'll take it!' 
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. 'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The clerk rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50 please.' 
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?' 
He replies, 'Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50.' ]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21500509</guid>
<pubDate>2008-11-29 11:33:32</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] Model sues Plastic Surgeon</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21496443</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21496443</guid>
<pubDate>2008-11-28 10:46:07</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] The Queen! God bless her.</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21486803</link>
<description><![CDATA[ There goes my knighthood :( ]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21486803</guid>
<pubDate>2008-11-26 08:42:49</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] Pirelli Calander 2009. Sneak Prview UNISEX!</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21486847</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21486847</guid>
<pubDate>2008-11-26 08:53:35</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] Madonna - the true Brit</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21467627</link>
<description><![CDATA[When Madonna first moved to England she said she wanted to feel more English.

She is now an unmarried, single mother with three kids from different fathers, one of them black.

Job done!]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,21467627</guid>
<pubDate>2008-11-22 06:48:28</pubDate>
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